How your behaviors affect others

Being self-aware is crucial in emotional intelligence.  I am a strong believer that being unaware leaves you open and vulnerable to negative encounters both personally and professionally.  Therefore, it is vital to be fully self-aware, and even “in the moment” in order to encourage positive encounters.

True to form, being self-aware also creates positive encounters for others. If you are aware of your own behaviors and manage yourself effectively, you are going to produce positive results with others, even if it’s unintentional.

One of my favorite bloggers and leaders in business and leadership, Michael Hyatt, talks about encouraging and energizing your team here, where he discusses being intentional with your team.  However, his main points also resonate with in the context of personal awareness and how it affects others.

If you can intentionally move through life with these thoughts in a general context, you will ultimately affect others in a positive manner. Let’s take a look at his five points in a general way and see how being self-aware can ultimately affect others.

1. Assume others are smart and hard-working.   No matter who you encounter, most likely there is someone else who is working just as hard as you.  There will always be someone who works harder, is smarter, is prettier, is funnier, is wealthier….the list goes on and on.  To assume otherwise is only making yourself seem less intelligent and less astute.  Always assume the best in every situation.
2. Listen intently and ask thoughtful questions.  Listening is the key to success.  I am in sales, and anyone NOT in sales assumes that being able to give an effective presentation and talk fluently about a service or product will lead to sales success.  Truth is that asking questions and actively listening (as opposed to planning your next statement) will lead to more success.  In the same respect, listening intently and asking thoughtful questions also leads to positive encounters, as it creates in the other person feelings of importance and validation. This is one of the single most valuable things you can do for another person.
3. Acknowledge the sacrifices others have made on your behalf.  Think about this for a moment…how many times throughout a day do people sacrifice on your behalf?  Someone let’s you go first at the four-way stop, someone let’s you go ahead of them in the grocery store or the local Starbucks, someone picks up the money that fell out of your back pocket or runs out to return the cell phone you left on the table in McDonald’s.  Every day we encounter sacrifices, and also offer sacrifices, even in the smallest of forms.  Are you aware of them?  Do you acknowledge these small acts of kindness for what they are – sacrifice?
4. Express gratitude for their effort and their results.  Being grateful and showing appreciation to others who have sacrificed, offered time and effort to create something great, is largely a testament to the person you are, and it shows a person of integrity and ethical standards.  Doing this on a small scale, even to strangers, shows that you are aware of the situations that provide opportunities as they present themselves.
5. Remind them why their work is so important and the difference they are making.  Being in a position to acknowledge sacrifice and show gratitude are small gestures that express the importance of an action.  Being able to effectively influence others with a simple statement of value not only signifies that you are self-aware and in the moment, but it can have a very profound affect on the other person involved.  How many times have you smiled because someone thanked you for something you do every day?  Think about the feeling of importance when someone saying thank you for holding the door. It may have been a small gesture you provided, but a thank you and smile let you know that, even for just a moment, you helped someone; you made a difference.

It is evident that we have the ability to affect others in our every day encounters.  Most people move through life without paying attention to the details that surround them.  Being intentional with your actions, being intentionally self-aware, and paying attention to the details in life will get you results, but it will also allow you to see life through different lenses.  You will notice the glass is half full when you continue to fill it with positive actions.

I challenge you to continue your journey into self-awareness. Realize the impact you have on others simply because you are more self-aware today.  You are making difference, even if you don’t know it.