It may not seem like it now, but the internal dialogue you have with yourself is shaping your future reality.
Think about it…how often does a co-worker tell you she likes your dress, and your response is “Oh, this old thing?” What happened to “Thank you”?
We are programming our minds to believe that we are less than we are with every statement that isn’t 100% positive. Pay attention to how you talk to and about yourself. And if it needs to change, change it! See what happens in your life!
Sometimes, in the most vulnerable of moments, our emotions can take control of our actions. But letting your emotions take the lead can have detrimental consequences in both your personal and professional life.
Although these should be common practice, here are a few reminders of things to do when you find yourself emotionally drained:
Take a deep breath. Or 3! Preferably outdoors. Deep breathing exercises are designed to force oxygen to areas of your lungs that not normally fully engaged. It will help get blood circulating through your body faster, increasing the ability to control our emotions.
Count to 10, or 20, or 100… whatever it takes.
Go for a walk, or a run if that’s your thing. Or just work out. Burn some calories and get stronger will help connect your physical and emotional sides.
Take a nap. Sometimes, just getting a little extra sleep will help maintain an even emotional state.
Color. Science has proven that the physical act of coloring has calming affects on the mind.
Tell yourself why you love/are friends with the other person. It’s a great way to gain some perspective and return to a civil state.
Write down all the reasons you want to win this argument, and the effect it will have on the relationship. Chances are, it’s not that important after all.
Sing your favorite song. Turn up the radio, put the windows down, and belt it out! Chances are the tunes will help put you in a happier mental state and release tension.
Laugh out loud. Literally…
Check out Facebook and see how great your life is compared to others.
Go home, or if you are home, leave! Removing yourself from a stressful or negative situation can instantly provide relief and help you gain some clarity.
Watch your favorite movie – bonus points for chick flicks that make you cry! Get those emotions out in a healthy way.
Have a drink. Of water!! Keeping the body properly hydrated helps to keep a clear mind.
Hug someone. The physical act of hugging has tremendous benefits on the psyche – especially in women.
I am super passionate about emotional intelligence and the benefits both personally, professionally, and for any community at large. When we understand how our emotions affect others, and when we understand and can interpret other people’s emotional responses, communication becomes a smooth process. And let’s face it, lack of communication or miscommunications are at the forefront of almost every major malfunction at home or at work.
Here’s the thing with communication – and emotional intelligence in general – you have to understand yourself first. It is the stepping stone to every interaction you have in your daily life. And it’s not easy! Practicing every day to manage your responses and tracking what triggers negative emotions versus positive emotions and focusing on positive responses and actually thinking before you speak or react… it’s work! And it’s probably why 90% of the population is not so good at communication, or even have a true understanding of their inner self.
It can be simple though, and here is a good place to start: Every day, take time to focus on the main areas of your life. By focusing on yourself, you are not only learning to connect with yourself and listen to what your body and mind are in need of, but you are setting the tone for your future. It’s not selfish – it’s smart. Because connecting with yourself is the only way to be a better version of yourself. Here are some suggestions to get started.
Cheers to you!
Sometimes, in the middle of an ordinary day, someone extraordinary will happen that manages to keep us grounded and leave us in awe.
Let that sink in. Have you missed extraordinary moments? Are you too busy with busy work to see the beauty of life around you? Take a few minutes to stop and breathe, and take in what’s going on around you. But more importantly, be aware of what’s going on inside you. We are capable of so much more than we realize, but the majority of people never reach their fullest potential. We are hindered by our own beliefs, which have manifested over time and become fixtures in our thought patterns. But there’s hope!
One of the greatest attributes of emotional intelligence is that it can be strengthened at any time with a little focus and consistent practice. Being self-aware is the first step, and the most important in making any changes in your life. To make any major shift in your life, you must first change your mind.
As we leave 2017 behind and look forward in 2018, I want to challenge you to the following:
So what’s your bigger picture?
In today’s business world, it really can be a dog-eat-dog kind of place. I think this happens most frequently when people get caught up in the idea of what or where he or she should be and disregard what or where they really are. Sometimes, we get in our own way in a self-sabotaging manner, creating a lot of friction that we think is just part of the process. But what if it isn’t? What if the struggle is a way to lead you in a different direction?
Most of us start a career and create a plan — in 1 year I will be… in 5 years I will be… Feel free to fill in the blank with your plan. But in doing that, many times we miss some key markers that happen that may open the door to other career opportunities off of that path that could potentially be a better fit.
I get it. I’ve been that person. For me, the plan went something like this: In 1 year, my name will be known throughout the company. In 2 years, I will be a top sales producer. In 3-5 years, I will be in a position to move into management. It was all I saw, a goal I had set, and I continued making decisions that kept me on that path. I resigned from that first position after 3 1/2 years for career advancement into management, but was then downsized after 8 weeks, leading to 8 months of unemployment. Following that, I was downsized and/or terminated four more times over the course of 5 years. Not once did the caution bell go off in my head that maybe I was not in the right place or the right field. Instead, I kept trudging along.
In the last effort, I moved my family across 8 states only to realize that the management team I was under was not comprised of strong leaders. They were of a “one size fits all” mentality, regardless of personal strengths or physical location. I come from a different mentality, introduced to sales under a leader who believed that each individual needs to play the game using strengths as an advantage and weakness as an area to improve over time. Needless to say, the situation was toxic and I decided to resign, and in resigning, I retired from my career in outside sales.
I know that I am a great sales person. I believe wholeheartedly in my abilities, and I think I could have continued. But I am also a firm believer in two things:
Today, I am fortunate to say that I am still working in sales and marketing doing what I love, but in a position that utilizes my strengths as a salesperson and as a creative individual. I work in a less-stressful, family friendly environment, and I have the ability to work a second job as a real estate agent. Once I opened up to the possibility of using my strengths in a different way, the path before me widened, and it was a clear view. Not only do I enjoy my work, but I enjoy my down time much more. And I am able to focus on the other areas of my life and my career ambitions that I have put on the back burner.
If you find that you are struggling in your career, or any of your life, take a step back and really focus on the foundation. Is it really an external issue, or are you just in the wrong place at the wrong time? Is there another step you should be taking, or another path you should be on right now? Are there areas of growth that you may have missed because you had blinders on?
Finding our place in this world is tough. Although I think it’s good to have a plan, I also think it’s important to be open to the possibilities that are unfolding on our journey. Even if they take us off the main road or sidewalk, the path through the woods may provide a more fulfilling opportunity.
As we go into 2018, reflect on the past year, and take inventory of your current situation.
Happy Struggles!
The E.I. Insider 