Month: November 2019

So many of us go through periods of hardship, and for some of us, that hardship is a heavy load to carry.  There are instances and circumstances that can feel overwhelming, initiate anxiety, and even lead to depression.  We have all heard the old adage of “This too shall pass.”, and it’s true. Most likely, this will eventually be a memory.  But in the moment, we still have to find ways to cope with the struggles.

There are books and article written with advice on coping with struggles.  And I highly recommend personal development as a part of the growth process.  But in all honesty, the one area that we, as a collective society, fail in the most is trying to take on too much in order to fix the situation at a time when we are vulnerable.  In the middle of struggles our natural instinct is to try to fix everything at once in order to make the situation better.  We take a birds eye view and notice so many areas that are hurting or need attention, and we try to make adjustments for it all.  But we are not good multi-taskers, and we are only hurting ourselves.

In a situation of overwhelm and panic, the best advice I have is to pick just one thing. That’s right.  Just one.  And I get it.  It’s tough to pick just one.  But choose the one area that will affect you the most, and focus on that.

For me, the one thing became to stop being angry, to figure out a way to let go of anger so that I could truly work through the crap and move forward with my life. I prayed a lot (through tears most of the time), and I started writing and working out every day. It took time, but it eventually helped me to have a clear head to be able make other decisions about where I was, what I needed to make right, and what I needed to change or do differently. It was a really hard year…. I had to cut off dating all together. It clouded everything. Too many emotions involved, and my head and my heart don’t always agree. Lol

So I committed to focusing on me (and Aidan). Only after I was able to let go of the anger was I able to fully walk away from a really bad situation, and I was able to really figure out what I wanted and needed. The hardest part is learning to be totally honest with yourself… like, brutally honest in a way that is “I hate this about myself and it needs to change”. Or “I hate that I did XYZ, and I need to make sure that never happens again”. It’s not easy to stop relying on the reasons the existed as to why I made the choices and actually gave the consequences of them. But eventually you had to just say ok, I did this, and no matter the reason, I am becoming someone I don’t like. And the reasons didn’t change – I did. Because there is no reason ever to stop being someone I would want to be friends with. I was better than that, and so are you.

You don’t ever have to say anything to any of your family or to me, but you do have to get honest with yourself. I’m sure there are things in your life that you do, have done, want to do that frustrate you. I know you have conflicting thoughts. I get it. I don’t need to know the exacts to know you have them, cause I’ve been there! Lol so you need to figure out what you love about yourself. What makes you awesome? Why are you a great mom and a great wife (or will be a great girlfriend… since I don’t know how this all will shake out). What do you have to offer someone? But then also take the inventory of what you’re not so proud of. What do you know about yourself that can be tough for someone else? How often does that come out? How would you want to be instead? What steps can you take? Then just pick one and start with that … every day try to do that one thing. Slowly change happens, and you’ll become the beat version of yourself despite anything that is going on right now.

But know that when I say it takes time… girl, I’m talking 3-4 years for me. So be patient, show yourself some grace, but no matter what, take the step!

Hiring for fit is the easiest way to make the workplace function smoothly.  But for a sales atmosphere, it is essential that you hire for attitude.  You need the sales guys with fire in their eyes and passion in their bones.  It’s a quality that is rare, and it is not always visible in a first interview, but it will come out.  This is what it looks like:

“You want me on your team!  Plain and simple.

I could go into the track record of sales I’ve brought in over the years or hitting sales  numbers consistently.  I could also dive into the many failures I’ve had and what I’ve learned from each one, and point out that I’m still here to talk about them all.  Or I can just tell you a story.

I came from the business world – started in collections where I worked as an HR Generalist, and moved into an HR Manager role with the next position I accepted.  I ended up in sales by chance, because my HR role was eliminated at the company where I was working. A friend’s company was hiring in sales. Honestly, I had no idea if I was going to like being in a sales role, or if I was going to be any good at it.  What I did know is that I needed to be in a position where I could actually get paid for working my ass off, and with that I took a leap of faith.  Lucky for me, I’m ended up being pretty damn good at it.

When I took that position 13 years ago, I set goals for myself.  Paying off bills, save, build a retirement, buy a house.  But I also set the goal of becoming a recognized name within the company.  I was the only female rep out of 500, but I wanted to make a name for myself as a badass sales agent, not just a girl.  I wanted everyone to know that I could sell circles around the men, and I really wanted to pave the way for more female sales reps in a predominantly male industry.  Fast forward to just past the one year mark, and I did just that.  I was training new sales reps, and I was presenting best practices and sales strategies regional training seminars.

At one of the first regional meetings I presented at, I was sitting in the back of the room for the first session of the day.  It was all about follow ups and the trap that most salespeople fall into of not setting aside time to make the phone calls and do the follow ups.  It is dead silent as the question and answer segment starts. The newbie next to me raised his hand and asked this question:  “When do I expect a call back?”  The Veto Guy in my head was clearly on his lunch break, and I just about spit my coffee across the table as I swallowed a laugh.  I looked at him with a look of bewilderment, and I just said with a straight face (and quite possibly slight sarcasm), “You don’t!”  Because the one thing I knew is that a watched pot never boils.  Go after what you want, do what other sales people don’t do.  Pick up the phone for the 12th call.  Go in the back door.  Hit up a sales agent for that company.  Sit your lawn chair in the parking spot of the CEO and get the appointment scheduled!

Dude, I’m a badass.  Not because of the numbers I bring in, or the failures I’ve overcome, or the amount of times a day I hear no.  I’m a badass because no is NOT an answer.  I’m a badass because I think outside the box.  I’m a badass because I take the initiative to know my product or service inside and out, upside down and backwards. There is no objection I can’t handle, because I am the expert. Albert Einstein had it right when he said, “If you can’t explain it simply, then you don’t know it well enough.”  I can speak intelligently about the reasons I rock, and why my company rocks, too.  I’m a badass because I love what I do.  I have the power to help people change their lives, and that is no truer than in what I do right now as a New Home Sales Counselor.  I’m literally helping people see the potential of a dream coming true.   And that makes me a badass salesperson.

You can find a mediocre sales guy anywhere.  He will bring you sales and meet your expectations.  These guys are a dime a dozen.  They are motivated by money, and will do what it takes for their paycheck.  I hate those guys.  There’s no fire, and they don’t really care about your buyers.  The rare quality you are looking for doesn’t come in wrapped in a pretty package bought with a paycheck.  It comes in the form of hard work and sweat and tears over one sale, because your badass sales guy knows that this product/service can serve the customer so much more than the paycheck can serve him.

“There is no greater inequality than to treat unequals equal.”  Don’t settle, my friend. Hire a badass.