Author: Dr. Trisha Ziemba

Working efficiently will help you get where you want to go with ease.  There is no need to re-invent the wheel.  Understand the end goal and utilize the tools and resources that are available. Take a few minutes each day to evaluate your current methods and see if there are any areas that you can trim up the workload, remove distractions, or complete a task fully and check it off the list.

Some may say your lazy, but efficiency over redundancy saves both time and money in the long run.  So keep a record of what you are doing well and areas that need improving, and keep at it!

PS If you aren’t sure where to start, click Here for some tips on being more effective at work.

Change occurs in the small rooms with the right people who have the power to influence.  When the door to the room opens and opportunity presents itself, will you be ready?

Life is short; we don’t have time to waste opportunities.  Always be ready and willing to walk through the door when it opens.

There is always something greater working.  Life is bigger then just us, whether we choose to see it or not.  And in everything you do, there is always a choice. Life is constantly dropping obstacles and offering options.  And while it’s good to have choices, sometimes it creates confusion and becomes overwhelming. When you invest time in understanding yourself, decide what is important, and set priorities, you are giving yourself direction to navigate through life and determine when to keep moving and when to let go.

Here are some tips to help you along the way:

1. Is it in line with your priorities?  Sometimes, your heart and your mind are not on the same page.  You may want to buy a new car, but creating a budget and getting out of debt is the priority for this year.  If you buy the car, how does that affect your priority? Or maybe you planned a family vacation but work called an impromptu meeting the day you are scheduled to leave.  If your family is your first priority, but you choose to rearrange your vacation, your words and your actions are not sending the same message. We cannot let the choices that present themselves derail the priorities.  Every decision sends a message regarding your priorities.  If the decision is out of alignment, then it may be time to let it go.
2.  Is it relevant? There are seasons in life, and over time, priorities change.  It’s a natural progression.  Yet, we cling to the past – out of comfort, out of fear, out of love.  No matter the reason, every once in while we must make the hard choice to let go in order to stay relevant in our current situations.  In a simple example from my own life, the priorities when I was a single mother are vastly different from the priorities in my life now as a wife and mother.  Being able to recognize that has allowed me to make decisions in my career to better align with the change in priorities. And the same will go for you as long as you can honestly evaluate your current situation and align priorities without external influences. If something is no longer relevant, then let it go.
3. Is it keeping you from success?  If you have a goal that you cannot reach, take some time to determine what is holding you back.  Sometimes we put on blinders, but without knowing the reasons behind a failure, you will not be able to progress.  Once you can find the root cause, you have the ability to fix it, change it, conquer it, or remove it.  Only then can you truly let it go and move forward.

The decision to let go of negativity is not easy, but it is a positive step in the right direction.  The important part of letting go is being able to do without regret or second thoughts.  Staying focused on your priorities, what is relevant, and your future success can help keep you grounded as you determine what says and what goes.

And if you’re still having a hard time, just ask yourself what Elsa would do.

Sometimes we all need a little reminder…a reminder that it’s ok to focus on yourself, a reminder to keep going, a reminder to change your focus.  We are all doing the best we can, and we just want to feel validated in our actions and our decisions.  And when that doesn’t happen, we start to question ourselves….

If you are in that place today, let this be your reminder….

**The names have been changed to protect the innocent!**

❤️ You will get there.

The common theme I read is that it’s all about what you have done for others. But what do you do for yourself? And I’m not talking about every other week when your husband takes the kids so you can go to the store…. what do you do consistently every day to recharge?? When we are constantly giving to others but not recharging our own energy, we do eventually run out. It’s just like gas in a car…. if you do not refill, you eventually run out of gas and the car doesn’t run. You could get the tires changed and get a new paint job (outside stuff), but without gas(inside stuff) it still doesn’t run! I learned this lesson the hard way a long time ago. Seems like you are learning it the hard way now….

Everyone thought they knew best, and I listened. Everyone said, “He should be the most important thing and he needs to come first.” And I listened. I was angry, and I was hurting, and I felt that if I didn’t keep doing for everyone that I would let people down and I was failing as a mother. So I kept doing. Sure it was good on the outside… I was able to buy a house, I made good money and got recognized at work, and I had a boyfriend and said all the right things. Perception! But in reality….no one cared about my house – in fact, no one came to my first hosted dinner, and my family all said I was too quick to move out.

I know you get it.

But here’s what happens when you stop worrying about other people and start being selfish with your time….

First, you learn the good things about yourself. As that happens, you start understanding your value and stop allowing other people to determine your what your self-worth. We stop accepting other people’s opinions as Gold, and learn to let go of a lot more. And you learn to say no, or not now. When your happy with yourself, it’s very hard for others to get under your skin, so to speak. As you start feeling good about your wins, your confidence soars and you feel like you can do anything! And when you feel like that, you really CAN do more! And you’ll notice it because you will be a better person, a better parent, a better wife, and a better friend.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that you aren’t now- you are doing all the right things and you are a great parent!  You’re a great partner! But your inside is fighting with your outside… perception vs reality. There is an internal struggle happening that you have to get control of.

And in order to do that, you will have to step outside of your comfort zone. You are going to feel anxious and overwhelmed, and your going to have to push through that knowing there is a goal of not feeling the way you do right now!!

You have strong support system.  Lean on them!  They get it, and more importantly, they get you!

Eating right and working out (whatever that means for you) is important.  It’s not JUST about losing weight (though it could help). There is a bigger picture in personal growth that goes with being healthy, and it’s amazing how personal growth is connected to taking care of ourselves. It’s about mental clarity, it’s about being able to process life in a different way. It’s about learning to connect with your emotional self more closely and being able to understand the why of what you are feeling, and learning the small things you can control that will have a big impact over time. And it’s also knowing that you don’t really get to see the big picture in the process, but knowing and believing that the big picture will be revealed at the end of the tunnel, and when you crawl out of the tunnel and look back, you’ll see how far you have come!

It’s not easy, but you can do it!  Be active daily.  Step outside every day and breathe in the fresh air, even if it’s just a few minutes.  Start a journal.  Practice being grateful – find 3 things every day that you are grateful for, and write down a goal for the day, no matter how small.  Sometimes, the small wins are BIG DEALS!!  Because there is an enormous amount of power in small wins that build momentum, and a small amount of daily habits and small actions can increase your ability to think clearly, make better choices, and be in a happier place inside.

I know how deeply you want things to be better. It takes time and patience and practice, and it starts with you. You will get to a place where other people’s opinions won’t matter as much. They won’t cut you as deeply. But it starts by being so strong in your self love that nothing can knock you down. It all starts with you doing it for you!! Make yourself a priority, the hero in your own life.  It will have an effect on every aspect of your life.

It’s hard to imagine or visualize now, but I’m telling you it will happen!! And it’s going to be so awesome!!!! I just know it!

SO KEEP GOING, GIRLFRIEND!  Because YOU. ARE. AWESOME.

I am OBSESSED with emojis!!  Anyone with me on this?  These tiny little faces can state how we are feeling through a picture, and Facebook alone has over 100 different emojis from which to choose.  And I’ll tell you, I just LOVE that my husband has gotten into using them.  He makes me smile, and seeing his choice of emoji for the day makes me beam!

Yet, in most human contact situations, we have a limited emotional vocabulary of about 12 words:  happy, fine, excited, frustrated, stressed, mad, upset, annoyed, exhausted, tired, loved, and my favorite….meh.  We tend to see the same emojis used over and over on Facebook or Instagram.  And in life, if someone asks us how were doing or how we’re feeling, I can guarantee that you are limited to those same 8 to 12 emotional descriptions.  Think about it…  when is that last time you said you were “elated”, “overjoyed”, “euphoric”, “awesome” or “erratic”??  Probably not recently, if at all…but they are emotional options, and I don’t know about you, but there are many times when “erratic” would fit the situation perfectly!

I know that some of you might say that those are not emotions, but in fact, my friends, they are! Every one of those listed above is how you feel at any given time.  “I feel tired.”    “I’m exhausted.” – These are emotional states of being.  It’s not like running or biking, which are physical activities.  In most instances, there is an unspoken stigma that we do not acknowledge having – a fear of being ourselves, in a sense, because we do not think anyone cares enough to share the information. But in limiting ourselves to the standard emotional answers, we are training our brains and our bodies to be in those states at all times, and in the process limiting our potential to be AWESOME!

Studies show that a person who is able to more accurately describe his or her feelings is more quickly able to address the problem and get to the solution.  And the sooner we can get to the solution, the sooner we become productive in our environments, whatever that entails and wherever that may be.  In short, you will get more work done, more studying done, more problems completed, more emails typed and sent, more marketing strategies created, more phone calls made, more dished cleaned, more laundry folded, more sleep time in….  get the point?  You will be more productive. Period. Simply by understanding your true state of emotion.

Expanding your emotional vocabulary is just one step, but while it may seem easy, it will take some effort.

The next time you feel something, give some thought into how you feel.  For example, if you get passed over for promotion that a coworker received, your initial thoughts may show an angry reaction. However, if you take a moment to look deeper, would you find that you are angry or would there be a disappointment that you didn’t interview better?

I have two challenges for you:

1. First, make a list of emotions.  Come up with as many as you can think of beyond the obvious 10-12.  Read that list a few times, and keep adding to it as you realize the many emotions that are available to use.
2. The next time you are on Facebook, I challenge you to take a moment to think about how you are feeling in that moment.  Dig deep and find that one emoji that never gets used, and put it out there for the world to see.

Start expanding your emotions and EXPAND YOUR POTENTIAL AWESOMENESS!

Life isn’t fair.  It doesn’t always present opportunities on a silver platter or make it easy to achieve success, yet alone your dreams.  In fact, most times, it’s challenging and draining and feels unfair as we watch people seemingly glide right on by while we are clawing our way out of the ditch.

But I think my five year has the right idea…sometimes you just gotta be a ninja!

Remember that you are capable, and the sooner you stop focusing your energy and time outside of yourself, the sooner you will start seeing your own successes!

You got this!

Core values are often thought to be tied to company culture.  But have you ever thought of utilizing that concept in your personal life?

Tony Robbins talks about prioritizing our areas of life based on our wants and needs as well as our personal morals and beliefs.  He talks about the areas of life being a wheel, and that in order for the wheel to be effective, all the spokes have to be the same length, creating balance, in order for the wheel to roll without a wobble or bounce.  (You can dig into the Wheel of Life HERE.)

Michael Hyatt talks about 6 areas of his personal well-being.  He talks about the ability to get crystal clear on your priorities in order to create the life-balance that you need and want. Yes – create.  He outlines 6 areas, and lists them in a specific order:

1. God
2. Self
3. Family
4. Work
5. Church
6. Everything Else

(Read more from Michael Hyatt on priorities and balance HERE.)

I think it is important to understand that what your priorities are or how you order plays a smaller role than being able to identify the priorities with certainty. If you do not know what is important to you, then you are probably focusing your time and energy on the wrong things or in the wrong order. It is not benefiting you.  And if I had to make an educated guess, you probably find yourself feeling stuck, unmotivated, or in a place that doesn’t allow much creativity or freedom.

If you’re family is your first priority, are you constantly putting them behind your job?

Is your career a priority, but you constantly have to leave work for family obligations?

Are you focused on being healthy by always stopping at a fast food place? This is partly because a) your priorities are not crystal clear, or b) you are choosing to put something else in the priority spot over your health.

It’s not to say that it will always work out perfectly, and there may come a time when you will have to sacrifice slightly for a larger gain in that area or priority.  But if you have your priorities established, it will be easier to start making decisions that will ultimately align you with your personal and professional goals without having to sacrifice what is important to you.  There may be conflicts, but the priorities will help relief any guilt or grief for having to realign your goals.

So let’s try it:  What are your priorities?  Are you basing your daily habits and decisions around those priorities?  Are you taking steps that keep those areas as a priority, or do you sacrifice what matters for something less important?

Maybe it’s time to start answering some tough questions in order to make some positive changes.

There will be times when you want to give up. Keep going.

There will be times when people don’t believe in you.  Keep going.

There will be times when you won’t believe in yourself.  Keep going.

There will be times when you feel like a failure.  Keep going.

There will be times when you lose sight of the vision.  Keep going.

There will be times when your spirit is broken.  Keep going.

There will be really, really hard times.  Keep going.

There will be times when you will want to change direction.  Keep going.

There will be times when you are too tired to keep going.  Keep going anyway.

Soon enough you’ll look back, and only then will you see how far you’ve come.

Hard work and perserverance will always take you farther than you think you are capable. The difference between those who make it and those who don’t is only understood by the ones who keep going.

Don’t give up on your dream.  Don’t stop.  Instead, just keep going.

People are not interested in complicated.  Yet, somehow, we all get sucked into complicated at one point or another… some more than others.  So the question seems to be, how do we get un-stuck from the seemingly never-ending cycle?

Every change you make starts with how you talk to yourself about it.  If you are in the middle of a drama-filled episode of “This is my life”, are you asking why me? Or are you staging a self-intervention and taking a time out from life to figure out what needs to change ASAP?  Are you talking about your bad luck, or are you intentionally focused on changing your luck.

There are millions, and I do mean millions, of books and podcasts and articles and studies written on the  benefits and affects of positive self talk.  It seems so silly, and it seems too simple to be part of the answer.  But it all comes down to one thing – if you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?  It is not anyone else’s job to find your self-worth or prove your value to the world.  That is 100% on you.  So if you find yourself in yet another crappy situation, I suggest you take a long, honest look in the mirror, and have a serious chat with the person staring back at you.

Honest is the key word – if you want change, you have to start with stop.  Stop lying to yourself.  Stop making excuses for the why not.  Stop with the negative self talk.  You have to want to be in a better place, to be done with the drama, to be done with being stuck.  There has to be a point where enough is enough. Enough stress, enough disappointment, enough paycheck to paycheck living, enough loss in self-confidence and in your abilities.  When that shift occurs, you will realize that there is more to “knowing what you’re worth” than the dollars on the paycheck.  Here are the things that are in your control every day.

• Your attitude – your choice on how you approach your day.
• Your work ethics – knowing you did your very best.
• Your knowledge, and sharing that freely with others.
• Your integrity – doing the right thing for the right reasons.
• Your honesty, because you word builds your character, which will precede you.
• Your generosity in helping others.

Be intentional in how you represent yourself on this list.  Take the time every day to be certain you know how these areas are portrayed, and you will slowly begin to see your own worth, which is more valuable than any price tag or paycheck.  It will make you humble and grateful.   You will allow the best version of yourself to shine.  You just might get un-stuck from the rut, and it’s never too late for that!

I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a step mom. I am a grand mom. I am a cheerleading coach. I am a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant. I am a full-time Executive Assistant. I am a full-time Realtor. I am a Beachbody Coach. I am a doctor. I am a writer.

I am also strong. Loyal. Loving. Intelligent. Beautiful. Independent. A lover of art and books. And a hopeless romantic.

Not once did I label myself by my race, skin color, age, nationality, or religion. Those labels are not needed for you to get to know me or for me to add value to my life or yours. I also don’t need you to label me, because I put enough in myself. We should be free to choose our labels and not be labeled by assumptions. My character is not built by a label, rather on what I do and the integrity with which I do it.

Too often I see people quick to judge but not to listen. Quick to anger but not to inform. Quick to label but not learn.

If someone does something to offend you, take a step back, take a moment, and then try to be open to the possibility that he or she is simply misinformed. Most likely there was no ill-intent, just lack of knowledge. So instead of being offended, let’s be educators first. Use it as an opportunity. This small change in our reactions can be a powerful tool for change.

Ghandi said it best: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”